Recently I have had to go through a very difficult period of my life and even though I don't want to get into too much detail about it, I wanted to take time to write something regarding it. To be honest, I'm still processing most of the things that have happened and I'm not sure how I even feel about all the miserable things. What I do know for sure is that I'm not okay.
In today's society being sad is seen as a failure, a sign of weakness. Everyone is expected to be efficient, caring, smart, happy, basically just master their everyday life - but that's not how life works. As much as we like to think about ourselves as superheroes, everyone goes through ups and downs. Situations change, moods change, and sometimes you just have to take time for yourself and allow yourself to not be okay.
I'll give you an example. We lost our cat a few days ago and it was absolutely devastating. Most comments we have got when telling this have been very kind. However, we have also got a comment saying that we should just get another cat. A harmless comment, you'd think. It wasn't. It felt as if we weren't allowed to be sad and cry because of what happened. We should've just moved on. Eventually you have to do that but right now, it's hard.
You cannot hide the things that make you feel unpleasant forever because then you never get to go through them. That is what has happened to be in the past, and I've learned my lesson. There's only so much a person can take before one breaks. Once you break, it will be a million times harder to get out of that. We humans have the ability to feel sadness. The way I see it is that we wouldn't be able to do that if we were not meant to feel sad every now and then.
There are many ways to get through sad times.Personally, I'm a crier. Crying has proven to be an excellent way for me to express my feeling of sadness, or even other feelings sometimes. There's nothing negative about crying, in fact, it is a very normal reaction to feelings of sadness. Throughout this past weeks I have spend multiple hours just crying. I needed to just let go and cry in order to get it out of my system and start the process of moving forward.
In many occasions going through sad periods of life is nearly impossible on your own which is why I encourage each and every one reading this to maybe call a friend or talk to your family the next time something difficult happens. Asking for help is both easy and difficult for me. Easy because I trust the people closest to me and I know I can ask for help anytime, Difficult because I often feel like a burden and I'd rather close up and be on my own. Asking for help may be hard but it's brave. And yeah, sometimes being alone is better, and sometimes writing your thoughts down or doing physical exercise on your own is the way to feel better, Bravery is to know when to ask for help.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that being sad is healthy - to a certain point. If the feelings of sadness start to drain you mentally or if those feelings won't get better in a matter of weeks or months, I'd advice to, firstly, understand that too much is too much. I'd advice to talk about your feelings to someone you trust. There is a fine line between feeling sad and depression and I have learned that even if you suspect that you crossed that line, go seek professional help. There are people out there who are trained to help you. Use it.
So, in the words of Jessie J, it's okay to not be okay.
Until next time. Take care!
Jessie J - Who You Are